Bubbles

And here I am with MrS being showered with them just after our wedding. Of course this is just a device . I’ve made myself a bit of a strait jacket, having to write about things I like. So the pretty soapy bubbles. But you know what that’s rhyming slang for?

You see I actually want to have a rant. About the “social bubbles” proposed for our first steps out of isolation. It’s a joke isn’t it? After all, how are bubbles made? Surface tension.

I think it was a scheme thought up by some evil genius. Sitting in a sugary lair compulsively snapping great big stinky sweet Bazooka gobs into peoples faces. Ugh. Actually that thought of bubble gum brings back memories of school. I was never part of the bubble blowing elite. i couldn’t . In fact the sight and smell of it made me feel a bit sick. It didn’t help that we weren’t allowed what my Mum described as “cheap sweets” so I never had any of my own. It wasn’t that we weren’t allowed sweet things. But they were home baked cakes or puddings, and chocolate. So my taste preferences were shaped. Along with my hips*. Possibly the reason I’ve always tended to be overweight. And have teeth.

Also it originated in Belgium, with apologies to Belgium and all Belgians but MrS has always maintained that there are only 7 of them. And they travel round constantly on the public transport system etc**. A bit like the Truman Show. MrS came to this conclusion without ever seeing that movie.

I can’t imagine how it could work. There would have to be a leader in each group. In my paper today it was described (by Zoe Williams I think but can’t find article to link to ) as a “bubble dictator” Exactly!!! And then when you factor in distance? How far could it stretch? (extending that surface tension thing there) Would you choose ten (or eight, I’m part of a two person household) people who live nearby, over family members further away?

And don’t your friendship groups look more like a Venn diagram than a bubble?***

Or is that just me?

At school my ball skills were as lacking as my bubble ones so I was never high up on the list for team picking, or part of the “cool group”. And now in one of those Venn diagrams there’s a good chance I’d be outside the rings. And pretty much zero that I’d be the little central shield. I can’t draw it here, you’ll just have to look it up. But I think it helps explain my dislike of this bubble idea.

I’m not railing against social distancing or steps to ease it gradually but I can’t see this one working outside of extended family groups living near each other or very close knit groups of friends. And can you imagine the fight to be part of your hairdresser’s group?

Until tomorrow, when I’ll put away the ranty things, here are some more of the pretty bubbles from our wedding.